I’m in a mood… I must have called 30 things assholes by 9am: our fried eggs, my sourdough starter (with a capitol A), the wind, the sun (yesterday it was the lack of sun), the moon, my guts…

My dog is in a mood also, she follows my mood, poor thing… Inside, outside, front porch, I want to go for a walk; there is too much salt on the road, I want to go home… I want on your lap, why is that fricking computer there??

I’ve actually been doing better, the bad days are few and far between (my husband may disagree with me). I’m not unhappy, I’m just not vibrating at a higher level, like I’ve grown accustomed.

Have I said all this before? I feel I’ve said this before…

My moods happen to land on blog days, makes me seem like a real cow.

I make this promise: my next blog will be written when I’m as happy as a clam (are clams really happy, or do they just put on a good show), bad comparison… I will write when I’m happy, period.

Right now there is a rainbow on my keyboard, that makes me smile… Like the universe is saying, “Stop being such a turd, life is beautiful, and simple, just the way you like it.”

Enough of my ramblings…

We didn’t put our tree up the year (gasp). We are going through a major downsize, I am so tired of stuff, and cleaning that stuff. Our tree is too big for this house, and because I leave it up for like three months, it’s dusty.

I really love whats on the tree: lights, garland, ornaments… So, I just hung that stuff and skipped the tree. The lights I leave up year round because I can’t handle my living space without that warm glow. The garland is hanging everywhere, and the ornaments I strung on ribbon and hung in the windows, or put in pretty bowls. Didn’t miss the tree a bit! Its like eating all the good stuff on a pizza and throwing away the crust…

We may get a tree next year, a tiny tree to go in our tiny future apartment.

My bestest girl Andee is in a choir that performs a concert at Christmas time. Last year we missed it because of a storm. This year we made it, it was delightful!  And, there was a bell choir!!!  Bell choirs are one of my most favorite things, I’ve never actually seen one in person, until this year.

Last year we decided to have a party on the Winter Solstice, it was so much fun we made it a thing…

This year, brunch and bowling… Beautiful!

Letter to Santa…

Mike getting his bowling face on… I’m glad I wasn’t the only one with their own ball and shoes.

Chill baby…

Kristy, here’s your proof…

“White Trash Christmas Parade” as my neighbor calls it. I love this parade and the part it played in our Christmas tradition while here… I myself am a little bit white trash.

2015 is underway… I love the path.

I look back on previous posts from time to time… I like hearing what past me has to say, sometimes its gibberish, sometimes she makes me think, again.

This year I don’t have goals for the year, I have goals for the next four months… Get the house ready to put on the market by April. Downsize our belongings to fit in a 5×8 trailer, and move those belongings cross country to California, in May. Sounds simple enough… So much is still up in the air, the biggies are figured out though.

As for me… It’s all about the art. By April I will have my new website up. I will finally be focusing on  alternative processes.

I like the old, I thrive in the old. The new leaves me feeling panicky and behind. I will never be in league with those who feel about the new, the way I feel about the old. The way old photographs and processes make me feel when I look at them, makes it clear, I belong there…  I used to think being successful in photography meant making money, or the number of Facebook likes; weird, that is not the way I think, but there I was. Portraiture is a struggle for me; I feel if you truly love something with all your heart, it’s never a struggle, hard work yes, but not a struggle. I should not be out there with those who breath portraiture, I will never measure up, and that is ok. That is them, I am me.

I almost cried the first time I held a glass negative in my hand, it was the most beautiful, simple, complex, thing I’d ever seen.

I took an alternative process class in college (twice) I loved it so much the first time, I took it again. It was like two weeks of feeling like a kid a Christmas. Every time I opened a new box of negatives, my heart would stop. I love that feeling, I want it back.

I am going to hold myself accountable… By the next post, I will have a shiny new Cyanotype or Vandyke to show you.

Happy Bird Day, Loves… Amazingly, I did not know it was Bird Day when I named this post. What does one do to celebrate Bird Day…?